Saturday, January 14, 2012


I never cleared the dust off that window. I always knew what lay behind it. I mean, I could guess. It was not a big window. It was small. Not tiny, just small. Often I would see sun's rays filter through its dust rich glass and cluster in a small square of light on the grey floor. This square of light would stealthily broom across the cracking grey floor, leaving behind not footsteps of light, but a trail of darkness. Rather, greyness. I often liked to play with that little square of light- skip in and out of it. My darkened, weather beaten, less than ordinary looking feet would momentarily be purified by sun's white light as they skipped into that square. When they skipped out, they would enter again the ordinariness which has for long been their home..

This game with light was a passing distraction. My larger fascination was with that small window on the opposite wall. The window accumulating dust, giving only a hazy glimpse of the picturesque scenery that lay beyond. A chirping bird perched onto the overhanging branch. Glistening dew precariously hanging from the tip of a luscious green leaf. Orchids-white and purple and carnations-white and purple lining the fence in a mad array of grandeur. Just a hint of redness of an occasional rose, breaking the sacred monotony of my favorite white and purple flowers. A pair of rabbits, white balls of fur with their beady red eyes, dashing playfully through the greenery at the edge of the pond. The pond divided in two zones, each rich in fishes of differing hues. Its left side green under the overhanging canopy of huge summer trees. The right side bare, allowing sun's rays to prance around it's watery surface. Through the dust, I could figure out all the silhouettes-the flowers, the trees, the fence, the branch, the pond.

All this lay beyond that window. Yes it was a small window, but it was my only window. As the four ugly walls of that dingy confine of a room seemed to close in on me at times, the presence of that window would provide me respite. I feared the world beyond my door, with known foes and known miseries- I seldom ventured out. I was enchanted by the world beyond my window- I always kept an eye on it. I painted happy pictures and waited for the day I could be one with the wilderness the scene beyond had to offer.

I had never gone near the window. I always kept basking in the balmy light it sent in my cold room. I always kept imagining the scenery that lay beyond it, the beauty I remembered from more than two years ago when I had last ventured out. I had romanticized its translucent potential. I even spoke to it sometimes, beckoned to the heart of nature which I had believed to be sacrosanct. The window was my companion, I was its. I trusted it to open itself to me when it thought it should. May be when the heart of nature ripens to glory.

Today, its tiny panes flew open. I smiled at the invitation, but then I feared. There was some stench of ill-begotten pandemonium. I took a few steps towards it. The silhouettes I saw through dusty haze were there, but they were just that- empty silhouettes.  The scenery that lay beyond the window was as per my thoughts, with only one marked difference- there was no life in any element which I had painted in my imaginations. The outlines were there, the colors conspicuously absent. The leaves, the flowers, the water- was shivering under a windy pandemonium. They seemed lifeless, but attempting to exist somehow.

I felt a surge of sorrow. Then a surge of empathy. I thought I could get closer to the window, peep out, and see how I could help restore the beauty. I took but one step more and a strong gush of wind forced the rattling panes to shut with a bang.

I looked back at the door- a world I had consciously shut out.
I looked at the shut window panes- a world no longer the calming beauty I had thought it to be.
I looked at the walls. For the first time I felt faithless. For the first time, trapped.


  1. Still don't ever give up on the window
    The only view of a restless, lonely sky
    Sing softly to the wind, "I loved once"
    Lift the sunken gaze; wake up with a high.

  2. Hmm....
    this line enraptured me: "May be when the heart of nature ripens to glory." and I turned a few sound it as : May be when the nature of heart ripens to glory".....":) it is then that the greys, the black and whites shall be re-placed by the purples and the whites. It will be then, and only then that the white rabbits shall hop and eat red fresh carrots to their glory:) And you knw what, its absolutely fine to shut others out for a while, to be afraid to let in a new ray of hope enter that heart which has now gone a little weak...but knowing that sun rays are imp for survival, let that space be their, a translucent wall, where you and the rays can both have fun...coz only when there is light, do we grow, and only when we grow heartly and we find that someone:)

  3. @Destiny's Child
    Lovely verse. You are genuinely really good, and these lines are elevating. Thank you so much for sharing, yet again!

  4. @Aakriti
    In what words do I tell you how much this means to me?
    May be a soft murmur of 'thanks' through water in my eyes might convey the value I give to the love you hold for me.
    Stay close. Please.

  5. Beautifully in-scripted... you were, you are, and you always will be this Great :)

  6. @Aavika
    Umm, this sounds flattering. Not more flattering however than the fact that you finally found something worthy enough of leaving a comment on. Thanks! Love :)

  7. @Apoorv
    You flatter me too much. Main bigad jaoongi :P

  8. but you deserve every bit of it..u dnt noe hw much i get to learn from you,infact my frnds,CAT aspirants asked what to do in order to improve their english domain and trust me on this my instant reply was "dude read nascent emissions(with a dictionary ofcourse)..!!!"...i wish i owned a publication house,so i could sign u frm the word go and launch ur writings...bahut paise kamate hum..jst imagine!!!..heheh

  9. That is really sweet of you Apoorv. You still bring back such fond memories of all the amazing juniors I had at school. And being published is a dream, lets see if it comes true some day....

  10. Amazingly camouflaged by your prowess with words, this one is clearly one of the best reads I've had in a long time. And this is assuming I've understood the deeper meaning. :P
    I like Aakriti's comment too. I say, pull on the curtains for a while, light your own candle and then see the glow that the wind brings along. :) Good luck!

  11. If you get time then do read my stuff. Might not be to your liking but do try once!

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  13. @Saurabh
    Your words of praise, frugal as they are, always add a million smiles to my trove. Despite coming rarely, they seem a little exaggerated, not to say I don't revel in the exaggeration though :)
    I will heed your advice, in the positive way that too. Lets hope future beings with it nicer, fragrant winds to fill my life with happiness.

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  15. @Shashank
    Awesome stuff there! Do let me know a little more about the initiative if you can :)

  16. My gut feeling says. Your thoughts will be printed sooner or later. Trust me you are far better than those who has enlisted their name as an author. At, least you write better than Chetan Bhagat. :)

    1. That is so sweet, and so very encouraging of you. I do not quite agree to the Chetan Bhagat comment, for he is a writer who stood up by himself, almost started a new genre of contemporary Indian fiction and is a big success story.

      Still, for your kind words, I am indebted!