Sunday, March 4, 2012

Balancing

If you are incapable of tears, you will become incapable of laughter. A man of laughter is also a man of tears- then a man is balanced. They both go together. And out of this togetherness of polarities a balanced being is formed.

I have with me a screen shot of my success from about half a year ago. I also have with me a screen shot of a success my name does not feature in. In other words, I have with me a screen shot of my failure. A moment back, I was looking at them together, hoping for some divine vision to alight upon me. None did. I shut both the screen shots, and started laughing. The last I checked, that laughter was genuine.

Three days ago, I was crying. What could have been one of the most important days of my life had turned out badly. I was not able to shine in the one exam I pinned my future hopes on. Cry, I did. In fact, I wailed. But that, I was supposed to. I did not cry because I felt depressed. I cried because a castle that could be had just gone poof. And I could do nothing now to make it real. 

There is only an extent till which we can try; and try we must. With honest and diligent efforts behind me, the tears did not last for long. In fact, some sudden alacrity filled me. Now that this one door had closed, that too not forever, I had with me the opportunity to explore numerous others. Also, I could sense in me an urge to undertake shorter trips on hitherto avoided destinations which my dreams are made of. Stronger resolve, greater hunger. And a smile of my face. 

I always feared failure. I think I feared the ignominy associated with it. I also feared assimilating myself and standing up all over again. The same is now giving me a reason to look ahead with brightness. As one of my friends said, " I am glad you did not peak so soon." I, too, am glad I did not. With no major disappointments in my arsenal, I felt if I was equipped enough to be by my own in the world out there. Continued success makes people risk averse, so quoted Namita Bhandare in yesterday's HT. Even when I was not looking, answers were coming my way.

The tears have now lived their life. The smile and excitement are increasingly becoming subdued. The resolve to turn it around for myself is maturing steadily. Now is not the end. Now is the time to begin.






13 comments:

  1. Ups and downs are part of life. What is important is that we keep moving forward taking in all the lessons we get in the way. Every one have their fair share of good times and I am sure when your day comes you will shine brilliantly

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    1. Thank you so much Jyoti. I feel like an elder has conversed with me :)

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  2. I am not being cruel here, I do realize the extend of dedication you possessed towards that specific goal. Still I have no hesitation in saying the following, I believe that the time has played a good game with you. Now you are free from frames you have imposed yourself. You are exposed to a broader world of options. As your friend rightly mentioned, early success may kill the quest for achievement in you.

    I believe that now you can reassess the situations and workout a better plan to proceed further. Wishing you all the success well in advance irrespective of the path you are about to select for the rest of the journey.

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    1. I could not resist thanking you on twitter first, for I thought there my response will reach you quicker. All your concern, trust me, is priceless.

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  3. http://blanked-out-sayantan.blogspot.in/2012/03/liebster-blog-award.html

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    1. Thank you! And I will do the tag. Of course I will!

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  4. Well,one cant escape the duality of life and it is better to take everything in your stride. Success is just around the corner :)

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    1. Welcome to Nascent Emissions Zach. It was nice to see my followers up by one, thanks to you.
      As for success, I do hope your words stand true :)

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  5. This post reminded me of 'osho', his thoughts are on very similar lines...:)

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    1. The quote at the beginning, I believe, is by Osho. His thoughts are inspiring even in the practical scheme of things.

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