Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Loving...The Artistic Way!

"The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is nothing more truly artistic than loving someone."

I had used this line somewhere last year, on a birthday note of a very special friend. As he tells me, this thought left a profound impact on him. Earlier, he used to be a little dry in terms of dealing with people, which is just to say, that the kind of principles he followed prevented him from getting attached to people, or reciprocating their attachments. This would often result in a quandary. Attachments hold people back. So, although, he has immeasurable respect for all people around him, he likes to lead a reclusive life- him, his books, his ideals and his dreams. It was his life, and I had no business meddling into it, till one day, we randomly discussed about his sister-- and that was when I realized that this social pariah, whom I thought very nearly incapable of exhibiting and feeling human emotions, was crazily in love with his sister. And obviously, she with him.

The problem was that while her life remained centered around her brother, he had wider horizons to chase. She made little efforts to make him feel her love, and even though he valued her efforts, he failed to acknowledge them in front of her. This would lead to a mini shattering of her heart. She knew her brother well, and she knew precisely what not to expect from him. Still, the human heart would nurture its fond, unreasonable expectations...the kind which came with a bubble reputation- the time of their creation would portend an inevitable and unfortunate burst. His inexpressiveness would often hurt her, but she knew she could not change her brother- and why should she? She loved him for being so focussed, so admirable and always available as an elder to advice and comfort her.

Things were going great till this day I met him, and he was visibly upset. Apparently, he had shouted on his sister about an hour ago, and he could not forgive himself for it. The silly girl's fault- she had stepped much outside her comfort zone to send to her brother a gift, an arbitrary gift, sans any occasion; and what this doting brother did was only to locate futility in her action and accordingly scold her for it. The girl, predictably was heart broken. And, she ended up apologizing for her act of infinite sweetness. Now, let us not misunderstand the brother at this point. He was enraged at the fact that the girl had taken so much trouble just to make him feel special. However, this undercurrent of extreme care did not prevent me from shouting on him, taunting him and giving him a good piece of my mind. I did not care if passers-by actually stopped, and smirked and speculated if we were a couple indulging in one of those routine altercations. I gave him a lengthy monologue, replete with sharp, hurtful words, and stopped only at the point I saw genuine repentance in his eyes. He had, unknowingly hurt his sister; but he was not the sort of person who would know how to make up for it, rather, he did not know even if he had to make up for it. He told me later, it was the sentence quoted right in the beginning, which is scribbled in a pretty handwriting on his exquisite birthday card, which made him feel immensely guilty in the first place.

That night, when he finally apologized to his sister, expressed his deep love to her and felt immensely better, he gave me a call to thank. He thanked me for the hand made card I gave him, and confessed that the numerous things wrote in that lethargically long birthday note end up guiding him in his most perplexing moments. In good humor, I scolded him a little more, and then, smugly, slept off.

Last night, I was recollecting to my diary this incident, after a unexpected call from the same friend. He had an issue to resolve, and upon its resolution, he thanked by reminding me the same quote with which I began this post. It kept me thinking for a long time. I still am. Loving someone is an abstract concept. It is unique to each. People have their distinct ways of making their special someones feel loved. It does not require a great amount of care, instead, requires a fair amount of instinct. If you do truly love someone, you will know instinctively what the person wants from you, expects from you and what makes him/her infinitely happy. Throw in a little bit of unconditionality from your side to accessorize your love, and that will make your object of love feel not just special, but blessed. Try and be there, be available, and your love will experience a sense of security which will erase all his/her fears. Your object of love does not have to be your partner/spouse/companion, but any and everyone who has added some amount of beauty to your life. Making others feel special is simple, and one should keep it that way. Complications arise when we think to much. Honestly, if we close our eyes, and imagine the most awesome smile on the face of our loved ones, will we not also be able to ascertain what could possibly cause that smile. And in that little smile lies perhaps one of the most triumphant moments life can give us.

Think about it.

PS- If I may add, only as a jest, you do not have to think hard, but try and be unique. Gifts are a good way of expressing you care, but they are not the only way, definitely not the unique way. Ask me. People know that I have a fondness for writing, and hence, since the beginning of the year, I have been gifted THIRTEEN diaries, each more beautiful than the other, but please, thirteen diaries?!? Also, I love coffee, and hence coffee mugs just do the trick for my amazing, loving and caring friends. Christmas, New Year and now even my birthday presents are raining coffee mugs, my collection at seven so far. Last I heard someone told me coffee is injurious to health. Sorry folks! Will not be able to use them all in the near future. 


  1. A beautiful piece of writing :)

  2. Hey! Thanks a ton! Am so glad you read.

  3. Nice, you are indeed one hell of a writer. I like the way you narrated the whole incidence. To be honest I connect to it in parts.

    However, I disagree with you, to your thought @ last paragraph. There is nothing as 'unconditional love'. Humans are known for their self preservation instinct. Every act that we perform has some ulterior selfish motive, most people are just too conformist to accept that. Besides, everything has an expiry date, so matter what you do it will all come to an end.

  4. You are allowed your disagreements sir! Totally, and they make sense. Unconditional love is something that even I am still to witness; but I like to have my beliefs. I may not have been witness to 'unconditionality' as such, but have seen how selfless love can once you are bound in a relationship, the preservation of that relationship dominates over the self preservation instincts that you have quoted above. Its akin to having a family. Family scores over self, positively. And you can find scores of examples for this.

  5. My dear Saumya..I dunno how to begin.. First of all a heartfelt thank you for writing this piece. I say this coz this is the kind of relationship i share wid my bro. He is 2 yrs younger to me and to be honest is way ahead than me as far as reaching his goals and dreams are concerned, and I truly admire him for all that and many more things. But, sadly, he never talks to me. I feel blessed whenever we talk..small talk even feels good..It's like in the search of being too scientific, he has become so practical, that I hardly get a peep into his feelings..and Here am I lying at the other end of the continuum who is all about relationality, emotions, social sciences and blah blah..There have been times when I have yearned for a hug from him, but to no avail..and somehow, though I have tried to tell myself it's not that he doesn't loves me..yet it hurts..Well..this brings me to think why aren't boys expressive too? Too many threads linked up u knw..anyways srry for writing a long comment.

  6. how better writer one may be... but when comes to defining love, i think its impossible, even when we selfishly do something, the word/concept "LOVE" for that doing is attached to it...

    to one of your commentor.,,, life has become more material so always ecpectation hurts, even if the expectation is from your very own... its harsh but fact at time...

    Saumya,..great narration

  7. @Anonymous- I wish I knew who you are. I agree defining love is difficult, but its so instinctive, so natural to all of us. We can all have our definitions, and yet, the feeling is so universal, that we can associate with each definition. As for those who think the concept of true or unconditional love is extinct, i can only say, 'to each, his own'

  8. @Aakriti Malik
    How dare you apologize to me for writing such a lovely, and a meaningful comment. I can understand what you must be going through di, for I have been through similar things- yearning for a single expression of some attachment from a very loved one. Don't thank me for writing this; rather, I must thank you for sharing such intimate emotions here.

    And boys are expressive. Trust me they are. Its only that sometimes their way of expressing is so unique, we fail to recognize or realize it. Am sure your brother loves you a lot di, and you must be positive of that fact too.
    Lots of love :)

  9. Illusion illstrates a mirage of being in LOVE for some not considering the gravity of the word LOVE.

    Adore your positivity for LOVE and wish all the beautiful seasons you have in ur life

    do visit if time permits,.., am not an artist of your calibre, but have tried a hand on it... :)

  10. ah well, since coffee mugs and diaries are out of the question, what are your thoughts on actual coffee, a pack of really good coffee beans? :P
    Loved the post. :)

  11. He he!
    Swati! Coffee beans sound good, except I would not know what to do with them. At all :)
    Thanks for liking the post!

  12. @Anonymous- So now I know who lies behind the anonymity. I have visited your blog in the past, via my senior, Aakriti Malik's blog. It is a beautiful blog, and has some really enchanting poems. Thanks for all the wonderful comments, and for good wishes you sent my way.

  13. " lights often create darknes",..thus anonymity..

    it was my sheer pleasure visiting such a beautiful blog..

  14. Wow di..... thank you soo much... for writing all of these beautiful pieces.... i've read them regularly for almost a month... but never commented.... didn't know quite what to say.....

    you already know what a lovable writer you are... you make even prose flow through one's heart like a melodious poetry..... and it leaves me feeling a little more happy... always.... even if you write melancholy and sad words... they still don't make me feel sad... rather they calm me down... soothe my always-in-trouble heart.... help me decide on countless sentimental silly issues..... thank you so much..
    And you've really improved my vocab :)

  15. oops i nearly missed this one . I connect with the sister here . sometimes u love someone so much that their negatives dont bother u and the positives just light up ur day . another brilliant piece saumya . well done .

  16. shakuntala singhMay 12, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    young people like u believe in love .... there is still hope ,in this dry materialistic world of today . btw use ur coffee mugs 4 having badam wala milk , gud 4 ur already very fertile brain...ha ha ha..... bless u dear.

  17. @Snigdha Di- Thanks for heeding to my request. And the photo session is so on! So very much! I envy your pictures, and want to copy one of your poses. Please allow me!

  18. @Sushruti- Aww! You make me feel so good Sushruti. I am seriously doubtful if I wrote that well, but am certain of the fact that you have a brilliant ability to give word to your thoughts, the most beautiful words that too. God bless, and now that you stand at an important juncture in life, good wishes for that too. Love..

  19. @Shakuntala ma'am- Thanks ma'am. I do have 'badam wala' milk ma'am, but in winters. It cold coffee for me these days :)

  20. @Sushruti and Snigdha Di
    I don't know what happened. I had replied to both of your comments. My replies have disappeared :( And along with it, a very special comment from one of my teachers has also vanished. I am so sad now. :(