Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Last First Day....

It is happening....

It had to happen, but, now, it really is happening.

My last year in college has finally begun. Today was my first day in college. The campus, which till only yesterday was deserted, quiet, and so-not-like-JMC today was teeming with energy. The fuchchas looked apprehensive, inquisitive and excited, and i looked back at my very first day in this very campus. I had still not resigned to the fact that i am fated to remain in this 'all girls' college for the next three years. Coming from a school where i had only (mostly) male friends, it was disconcerting to the eyes to see only female and feminine figures around. I felt irritated to the core when after searching frantically for a 'girls' washroom, it dawned on me that in this campus, there are ONLY girls' washrooms. It felt creepy, and it took time to adjust, and today, the situation is such, that the thought of not being a student of this college exactly one year from this date wreaks havoc with my system each time i set foot in the college.

Me and my emotional attachments are deplorable- i know. However, i cant help it. JMC being the cleanest, greenest and the bestest campus in the whole of Delhi University, it is so easy to fall in love with..umm... the lawns, the canteen, the basement, the amphi, the audi, the library....and the whole college itself.

My friends have taunted me, and have requested me to abstain from any 'emotional atyachar', which they knew was going to be inflicted on them, while i  soliloquised about how a year down the line, we would no longer be permanent residents of this place. The fact is- this hits me really bad. So bad, that keeping my thoughts only to myself is not an option. And since my friends are the package-deal i got from this college, they have little option save listening to my melodramatic monologues.

I'll miss this place, but that will come later. A year later. As of now the thing that i know will no longer come back in my life is the thrill of coming to JMC for the 'first' day of the new academic session, soaking in the beauty of the amazing campus we have, and feeling proud for being a part of this very, very prestigious institution. I will miss coming to college, congratulating others for their grossly, flagitiously, overbearingly good results while mine, in accordance with the custom, were too modest even to be called modest. I will miss taking a college tour, passing new, fresh smiles to everyone. I will miss peeping inside the staffroom to catch a glimpse of all my favorite teachers. I will miss the yearly pledges- "I HAVE to do well this year"- and ruining them even before i could put my first 'strategy to do well' in effect.

But, most of all, what i will miss are the desperately longed for, cozy hugs of my friends, and the smile that instantly lights up my face when i see all of them after so long, and the comfort that my heart silently experiences when it realizes that yes, those people are still with you, around you. I will miss the rigmarole that subsequently ensues. I will miss the first, long hug that Kapoor gives me, the first amazingly captivating smile that Jagga gives me, and the first beautiful gaze that Sanchi's bewitching eyes cast on me.

Two years earlier, when i set foot here, i was not prepared to accept the fact that it is from this crowd i have to find friends who will help me survive for the next three years. Today the condition is such, that survival without these friends is very nearly unimaginable. My next year in college, i want to see pass as a montage of precious, priceless moments, that if i can't freeze into pictures, can at least be safely tucked away in some part of my mind. Will happen. Definitely. Me, my college, my teachers, my friends- we still have one year to revel in our attachments, and then......we'll at least promise to stay in touch.

As for me, it was in ninth standard (five years back), that i first heard this line-
"Hum toh dariya hain, humein apna hunar maloom hai.
Jis taraf bhi chal padenge, raasta ho jaayega"


  1. you kno what they say when one window closes another opens

  2. hey!
    Yup! They do say that. But then, they say a lot of things...the above is what i say..and feel...

  3. Akriti Malik, ex-JMCite, says-

    " true..our college indeed was one of the best of others in DU..and thee teachers, so organized, like u know Psychology DEPT used to have classes even when the strikes used to be was a second home!! and yes, the lawns, the sports day...indeed college memories are to be treasured.. take them along with you. Time makes us learn quite a lot of things. Special moments can be cherished forever!!have a wonderful year ahead!!all the best:)"

  4. the way u used montage in your write up.....i liked it a that point i felt how much this college means to me

  5. I am almost addicted to your comments on my blog now...its not just the college...but you all also mean a hell lot to me...and that includes you, Vrinda, as supremely intellectual friend...he he... keep reading, keep commenting..

  6. This is for will always remain one of the most amazing people i stumbled upon in JMC...wait till you get a testimonial from me, you'll know it all. As of now, i can tell you, that your cute ways, your endearing smile, and your out-of-this-world voice make me an absolutely crazy fan of yours.....

  7. I read this post of urs on ur fone in colg, but it wasnt enuf, it called me back, n i read it twice again on my comp, feeling each emotion with which u wrote this..just like you, i hadnt imagined in the wildest of dreams that i'd end up in a girls college, n now, i thank my stars that im here :) that i met all of u here..

    n you being a crazy fan of mine? hah! im just a little girl in my own little world, wandering about in college.. :)

    We wont let this end so soon, or end at all, college ending will not mean that wat we hav finishes. <3 Love u saumya, its hard to find people like you, dont ever change..i dont know if ive ever mentioned it, but i really admire you for who you are :)

  8. You are a sweetheart Panvi...despite being a star shining up are amazingly humble about just feels gud in your presence...jus does...
    i'll try my best to b in tuch...always..its usually the others hu lose track of a friend named saumya they once had...
    but i love you....and wait for sumthing..which i have to giv u...soon...

  9. Brilliant piece of writing-I can feel the emotinal attyachaar myself.

    Di, why be melancholy and sad about the year to come before it begins? it's only the first few days-maybe to you it feels like the first few days of the last few days,but you should know this in your heart that the bond,in fact the BONDS,will always always be intact. This place will be etched in your heart forever,as will you be etched in our hearts. So don't think of the farewell before the farewell . . .besides,I believe there is never a "farewell". You will always be my Saumya Di,my elder sister-the one who watches over me and keeps me in line :) and I will always be your younger sister(the one you adopted from the corridors of this college :) )-always there to make you smile,even when it gets a bit too much.

    Love you Di,forever.

  10. Nikita!
    You have no idea what i went through while reading your comment. You know one thing....I have a million friends...ok...and they all try to make me feel special in their own ways..but there are actually very few who make me feel special in a manner i wanna be made to feel are one of them...and i love you so much..there is no cap to foster kid..i am always watching over you are watching over me...whatever it is we share now...will remain forever..and i promise that...and you better make this promise have no other way out..

    i love much as u do..and more...

  11. now see..i hv started reading ur blog..i read this one in the eco magazine also!!

  12. @Kanika- Good girl! I am glad you read the Eco Magazine. Being illiterate about the MDGs is very uncool.